


Blind Religion

by LonelyWanderer



Category: Fallout (Video Games), Fallout 4
Genre: Canon Divergence, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Loss of Virginity, Love/Hate, Nobody Likes Atom, Post-Canon, Slow Burn, far harbor spoilers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-06
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-07-18 23:42:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 10,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16129127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LonelyWanderer/pseuds/LonelyWanderer
Summary: It's been a month since she arrived on the island. The Children of Atom were an obvious threat to the people of Far Harbor. Her only choice was to wipe them out.Ever since his rescue, his loyalty to the ideals of Atom and the people saved by his light has not wavered yet the person he was in the past questions their actions. She wants to save the world. He wants to protect what's saved his life. When these two worlds collide, who will end up saving who?





	1. Follower

**Author's Note:**

> Brian Richter. A prominent intriguing character in the Children of Atom in the DLC. Kind of liked him so here goes this.

_"So what, you worship radiation?"_

Such blatant disregard for what we stand for was an insult, despite this disregard, the question of following our one true savior surprised me even more. Green eyes shot into a part of me I'd forgotten I had. Damn, I guess she's serious. "Decisions of who may enter our family, we leave to Atom, you must perform a ritual-"

"Fine, where do I start?" She keeps interrupting me, a little too eager is a little too suspicious. "There's a spring nearby, drink from it..." She tucked her rifle away and turned towards the spring. I was evermore surprised when she did return and with her, a relic.

"Zealot..."

The hand shaking my shoulder belonged to Anna. Her condition looks worse and worse each day. I can never repay her for the care she's taken of me and our brothers.

"I'm sorry, yes sister?"

A coughing fit began, I watched her helplessly. I anchored her shoulder for support. "Don't worry Anna, I'm sure there's something great in store for you." She did not appear convinced.

"Brother Devin has made a full recovery. Our newest addition was able to convince him to break the fast..." Despite my suspicions, maybe our newcomer means goodwill. "Thankyou sister."

I left her to her work. The landings we have built in this place echoed my lonely existence. I have _him_ and the good of his will, but as time passed, my gratitude has faded with the amount of people we have killed in his name. I must believe it was for the greater good. Now the time it's taking to complete the high confessor's plan to stop the power to the harbor is becoming more than a burden. I will take this task upon myself so we need not lose anymore children. Maybe then, will those people realize their true savior. They will be able to save themselves in a time of need, no more executions by our hand.

I began to leave The Nucleus, this is actually a task I've only hinted at to the high confessor but he has shared with me brazenly. His trust has given me confidence, I just pray this isn't too reckless. A voice caught me off guard. "Where are you going?"

"It's really not your business." I bit back at the nosy child. Her beautiful green gaze was hard to avoid apparently. She wasn't wearing the clothes we have given her which disappointed me.

"Let me come with you, you're alone." Something was definitely off about her interest. That wasn't really a question either. I was caught, I didn't need her blabbing to the confessor before the task was done. I nodded.

"Where are we going anyway?" Her step fell in sync with mine. "Is it dangerous?"

"An old bunker... for some supplies. It will be a long walk, are you sure you want to come along?" I shot a wary glance at her physique, not exactly toned but combat armor can be misleading. She shrugged.

"Why are you alone?" Her gaze started burning a hole in the side of my head. _Why all of the questions?_

"Well uh, let's say this bunker is dangerous and I would rather sacrifice myself than more children. I'd rather you not come with me if I have a choice." The thought of me protecting her though, seemed more appealing. I shook my head but I'll let her decide. Her steps kept echoing with mine. I felt her gaze move away as we were coming up on a shack which appeared empty but I tensed with my rifle as we approached.

"We can search this for supplies to-" A trailer shifted to our right. Damnit, I should have recognized the mass of flesh sticking out of the trailer and at that moment she just had to be looking at me! It cut her off and big claw raised and fell quickly. Her body crumpled under the weight. Shit, shit, _shit!_ I opened fire and darted to the left, I need it to chase me. "Come on, come on.." I looked back and yes, there it was struggling behind me. Alright, a bit further, I was coming upon a chasm, oh thankyou. I paused and turned towards the monstrosity, a few more shots to keep it enraged. It's heavy steps shook the world around us. A bit further... I jumped to the left and yes! It's body tumbled with a sickening twist of metal.

"Damned island! How do you people live here?" I heard her yelling in the distance which was a huge relief as I turned back. She was bleeding next to the road but propped up on an elbow. She took that hit like a champ. Her eyes didn't reflect helplessness, just anger. Surprising.

"Are you going to stand there and gawk or help me?!" _Shit, I'm sorry..._

I rushed and leaned down next to her, her leg was bleeding quite heavily and I saw the empty stim pack but it wasn't enough. I fumbled for the gauze and a knife in my bag and reached for the leathers. She flinched which scared me.

"Is this ok? I'll need to cut the clothing..." That beautiful stare shot to the left, teeth gritted on her lip. I guess she's ready. I started at the clothing, I felt my hands sweat as this wound was on her thigh. _Come on Brian._ I did a quick look around for any visitors. Clear. She lifted her leg after I cleaned away a lot of the blood. My hands weaved in and out between her thighs as the wound was higher up than I thought.

"Ok, good to go, but now you should definitely head back..." I got up way too quickly shaking my head at impure thoughts, I stared at the crack in the road next to her. She almost seemed offended.

"Excuse me? Thankyou for that but I can continue." I shook my head again. _Why did she have me help her then?_ We haven't even made it halfway to my destination and she was already injured. Despite the injury, she stood up like it was nothing.

"Sister, you could have died. I do not want you in that sort of danger again. We haven't made it very far either." My voice shook a little. I pinched my nose realizing my concern. The idea of protecting her seemed a bit more daunting now.

"I'm coming because it's important and you're alone." She turned and a green eye stared back as she began to walk, amazing without a limp too. I guess I still have no choice but why?


	2. Soldier

"You sure that wound doesn't hurt?" His annoying questions kept coming, I think he just keeps digging for a reason to send me on my way. Not happening, this guy never leaves The Nucleus from what I've seen, he can't be alone. His story also didn't hold much water, a bunker that's heavily guarded for basic supplies? Something is going on. I looked at the fading face paint on his face, I figured it might have been a tattoo but I was wrong. It looks ridiculous anyway.

"You don't carry yourself like the others, the other children." I decided to probe him, the silence and our footsteps were starting to kill me. He didn't act like the radicals, not so helpless to that of Atom. A long sigh escaped him.

"I was a soldier once. Atom's gift saved my life so that does not matter to me now." He reached for something under his armor around his neck and held it there. It reminded me of the dog tags I wore, the pain that they represented. Maybe his loyalty is unwavering but long lost. I looked back realizing the distance we made from The Nucleus, I was surprised that we got attacked after crossing the lake which could suggest the fog does protect them. I shook off the thought. The Children of Atom are psychotic but Brian, well he seems down to earth. Any other child probably would have died at the hand of that crab let alone be able to provide medical assistance. I felt my face flush at the thought of his hands.

"What's wrong with you sister?" Perceptive little bastard.

"Why are we heading towards Acadia?" A question that will trump his will do. Shock painted his face better than those stupid rings.

"How do you know about them? Have you been there?" Dark eyes expected a straightforward answer. _Damn, maybe shouldn't have brought that up._

"I questioned them about a missing girl. That is all." It was the truth but meeting DiMa and learning of his intentions turned my world upside down. It made me realize humans are monsters too, always at war, always at each others' throats, wherever I went. Kasumi found her peace I guess, from what she told me. The synths or people that think they're synths were actually very docile, they wanted peace which made me sick. I lost Shaun because he wanted the same in a very different way, they condoned the creation of weapons for war with human bodies and here I am finding the very same thing except this time, the humans are the ones with killer intentions. The people want to destroy each other, but DiMa wants to preserve lives despite what they are. Sick that that thing is capable of such compassion and we aren't. We started through some brush which caused me to focus more on what's in front me. Suddenly, the zealot dropped low grabbing my wrist down with him.

"Shh!" The fog was thicker here so I couldn't exactly see what he did. He motioned to the right, despite his size, he was very quiet. I finally spotted the claw like appendages sticking out of the fog to our left, I stopped and readied my aim on the thing. He pushed my rifle down and gave a stone cold stare. Fine, I rolled my eyes and began to follow. A stick jammed into my leg as we went, my sharp breath caused him to turn wildly back at me. _Fuck!_ I gave him a thumbs up and squeezed my eyes shut, I motioned for him to keep going. The creature didn't seem to notice his sudden movement so we pressed on. The brush thinned into a road again. He stood up, his vigilance was appreciated greatly.

"Thankyou..." I leaned down to touch my leg, the bleeding started again. I could see the thoughts rolling in his dark eyes as he stared at it too. Heh, he probably is at his limit with dragging me along.

"Let's stop and rest up ahead." I could see the outline of a small building in the distance. "Just wait here a minute..." He turned to investigate the structure, I followed at a distance despite his request. I guess he did find company as some shots were fired, brief so not really troublesome I guess. He emerged and motioned for me to come, the few bodies of trappers laid astrewn, he moved one outside with a grunt. He paused and leaned over the body whispering something. A prayer? I left him be.

"Please, let me see that." He motioned to my leg, how embarassing he is still concerned towards my wound.

"You always seemed like you got a stick up your butt." My laughter caused him to smile? Just a small quirk on his lips. I leaned back in a chair inside straightening my leg.

"You're injured, I do care about things you know..." He wiped his face smearing the stupid paint. "Oh great..." After a couple of seconds he produced some water to clean his hands.

"You should clean your face too." I suddenly became very curious as to what he looked like without the paint. "It's smeared anyway..." I hope the rings don't hold some in depth meaning, but the zealot didn't argue as he started splashing the water onto his skin. A sigh escaped him like it was the best feeling in the world. Amazing. The black color made a mess at first but slowly faded away. His eyes didn't appear so dark when he finally looked back at me, he even looked _normal._ Well defined cheekbones softened into a long but neatly trimmed beard, it reminded me of something but I didn't want to delve into those thoughts. Brian is not a ghost of the past.

He moved towards my leg with gauze and alcohol, he straddled over my leg giving him leverage, it didn't seem necessary but I won't protest. His hands didn't shake this time, he peeled away the bloodied rags and then looked at me, alcohol in hand. I gritted my teeth in preparation for the burn. A hand rested on my inner thigh, bare skin at his fingertips, I felt my face flushing again. The alcohol began to pour and I flinched, he tightened his grip there for support, I understood now. He took his time wrapping it this time and I couldn't keep my eyes off of his hands.

"I'm sorry..." He seemed embarrassed and color painted his cheeks. Strong hands gripped his knees as he sat on his heels. _What for?_

"You helped me and it looks alot better after only hours. Thanks." It went from being a chunk of missing flesh to a weird hole. The stim pack definitely helped but without his care, it wouldn't be as it is now. He eyed an old couch and then me.

"You should get some rest." Fine. I moved over to the thing and took off some pieces off armor for comfort. I won't sleep though. I bet he's trying to lose me here. He shouldered off some gear but then began sitting in the same position, eyes closed. The parts of his armor were annoying in size but he had no issues nonetheless. Strong shoulders fitted the plain white tee nicely. Definitely a soldier type, I noticed the dog tags hanging around his neck. Maybe I'm right, he's the kind with unwavering loyalty. I felt a smile creep onto my lips. Loyalty is such a lost and forgotten virtue. My eyes started feeling heavy so I sat up, he didn't move. _Ah whatever, I'll wait..._


	3. Unholy Manifestation

Prayer is pretty much impossible right now, but I couldn't look at her for another second. The way she blushed looking down at me, her skin feeling like silk underneath my hand, the moan that escaped her when I poured the alcohol. My knuckles hurt so bad from my grip. 

_Forgive me Father..._

I thought about the punishment I've administered to those who have committed the same kind of crime, the cruelty did not sway me. They only needed to live through it and all for the glory of Atom. At this point of time though, I'm deserving of the same punishment or worse, the amount of disrespect it meant to remove a symbol of Atom from oneself was not light. Then again, when I looked at her, she was very pleased and it made me forget my shame. These kinds of thoughts are the most impure. I need to get away from her.

I listened carefully for the sound of her breathing. Very quiet and deep. I cleared my throat. No kind of response. Alright, I'll take a chance and see if she's sleeping. Her head was nodded back on the couch and an arm was thrown over one end. I could tell she was very tired earlier so I guess sleep was inevitable, this is my opportunity if there was one. She won't like this but I can't stay in her company for much longer, I refuse to be the one who keeps putting her in danger. My heart ached as I was quietly securing my gear. I paused, if I leave her here now, I could be leaving her for slaughter. I can't win.

_Damnit Brian._

I paced but then got back down on my knees gritting my teeth. "Forgive me..." I whispered the nothings towards the door. They seemed more meaningless now than ever before. I had to find the abyss I often found in prayer. I don't know how long she will sleep but maybe I can have her stop at Acadia, a distraction. I could go from there, but I can't leave her alone here. I balled my fists again and started to wait.

  


"Where... Danse…" Mumbling and moans brought me back. I looked over my shoulder. _What? Dance? Like dancing?_

She had moved to a fetal position, awkward looking in the space she had left on that beat up piece of furniture. Her body trembled, I wanted to sit down, grab her... I shook my head for the millionth time. Tears pooled at the edges of long lashes, her hands clutched something very tightly. A chain disappeared into the fists. Curiosity planted me above her, wait is that a pip-boy? Maybe if I lean down I coul-

Sad green eyes met mine inches away. "What are you doing!" She straightened quickly, alarm crossed usually care free features. The tears finally fell but she didn't seem to notice. Her gaze could not meet mine. _Fuck me..._

"I'm sorry sister. Don't get the wrong idea, you were..." I couldn't finish my explanation, I grabbed my nose to block whatever crap was about to fall out of my mouth. She was definitely upset. I turned to get a breath of fresh air.

"Wait." I looked back, she was standing now throwing on some gear. I had to cut her off. This was too intimate to my liking.

"Please, can we get going?" No protests as she followed, she was still securing some loose straps but I did not want to stop. Her pace leveled behind me but did not try to speed up. Acadia was coming up quick at this rate. In just a few hours, my world has been turned upside down by this woman. Impressive, but I have to focus back on to my mission here. Wind Farm Maintenance was not too far from Acadia.

"Why did you have to follow me anyway?" That came out sharper than intended. The long pause worried me, I glanced back, her gaze was fixated on the chain.

"Oh... You never leave The Nucleus. You're always alone while you're there, I've found that a companion when traveling consoles that loneliness." Her words echoed somewhere deep, she knew this well, but I felt these words weren't exactly for me. I looked back spotting the obversatory, I began to swerve right to go around. I'll let her stay if she so chooses. No more scheming. If Atom chose her to be apart of our family, I won't need to worry about my task failing because of her. Originally though, I shouldered this by myself for many reasons. Atom must have chosen her to come with me as I haven't had too much of a choice.

I made sure to avoid visual contact at the gate. Rocky terrain made this easy. The Children and those of Acadia aren't exactly in good standing, they knew me well. I saw the fog thickening up ahead, I checked my rifle for assurance. I heard familiar clicks from behind me as well. I was sure to plant my steps lightly. As it thickened, I slowed even more so I could hear her next to me. A green glow then surprised me, I looked to her realizing yes, it was a pip-boy. Here I was thinking it was some kind of crude device pulled together for the sake of detecting rads. Remembering my bracelet comment when she wandered into my loyalty test made me laugh inside. A pip-boy changes everything about her.

"What, we can see now right?" Damnit, she could compromise our position this way, does she just want to fight everything? I then spotted a concrete corner sticking out in the distance. I picked up the pace wanting to get out of the open with the neon sign next to me. The first door was unlocked and I was so relieved to pull it shut behind us. The green glow bounced off of some bodies, I recognized the rags.

I leaned down to offer prayers, hopefully Atom rewarded their sacrifice. That brazen woman stood tensed which made me nervous, an assaultron came barreling out of the darkness. I steadied my aim but to my surprise she had grappled the thing into a head lock and in an instant, it powered down. _What?_ I'll have to ask questions later as she headed for some stairs.

"Hmm, no power, no problem, where's the breaker?" Her comment echoed my thoughts. The room to my right was my first option as we left the stairs, I knew exactly what we were looking for and there it was missing four fuses. Great. I looked around and spotted one on a table, I hope the others are here, I turned and almost jumped out of my skin as black hair leveled with my chest.

"Here, these should help." Three fuses dumped into my hands. How is she handling this place so quickly?

"Thanks." My hands shook from adrenaline as I put them into their places. The place hummed to life giving us a bit more light. She paused at the door in the hallway.

"What kind of supplies are we getting here anyway?" The question dripped with suspicion, her body tense. This is for Atom so the question was not necessary.

"I'll tell you once we are inside. Right now, it's important that we see if the technology is in tact." Tension fell off of her in waves but she pressed the button nonetheless. Gun fire greeted us, before I could aim, she wiped out the turrets in the room. Ivy was definitely on edge now. I looked back at her and she had taken an assaultron to the ground deactivating it immediately. Atom be praised, she is a force to be reckoned with!

This room did not have the terminal I was looking for. I motioned to a door on the southern side of the room, she placed herself on the wall beside it. Heh, she makes for a good soldier from what I've seen in the past ten minutes, scarier than your everyday soldier really. She released the latch and we dove in, gun fire from the ceiling greeted us again. I took one and she blew the other. The terminal lay intact in the center of the room.

"Damnit, I know exactly what your doing. I should have known!" I stopped curious at her panic.

_What now?_

"We do not question tasks given to us from Atom. We complete them. Now what are you saying?" I turned tightening my gaze onto those green jewels. Her hand rested on the door we came in.

"You better stop. Do you know what will happen to those people?! I won't let you leave until you change your mind!" With that she slammed the security gate shut. The sound echoed into a dark place of my memory, the metal trapping us inside, the panic began to swell.

"Shit woman! Do you know what you have done!"


	4. Prisoner

I found myself backing up quickly as he moved towards me, looking through me at the door. Cold steel hit my back, I flinched as he raised a hand, it landed next to me vibrating the metal slightly. I slowly opened my eyes to see copper hair flung forward, him staring down at the ground trembling. "Nobody knows we're here." His usually breathless voice was like gravel. I clenched my fists.

"You think I'm stupid enough to actually trap myself in here?" Tense shoulders relaxed a little, he looked up at me. His eyes up close were like dying embers flecked with amber. It took my breath away. Sliding his hand down the steel he reached back for his face as if to brush away his moment of panic.

"So you're trying to make a point?" A slight grin tightened underneath his hand, probably from adrenaline and relief. "You are something else..."

"I won't let you kill those people, you as much as try to activate the killswitch, I will make sure we never leave."

"A hero of justice huh? Often heroes never have clean hands, we're all murderers." He shrugged with his sentence and started moving towards a wall, he sat down hanging his head over his knees. My stomach dropped, he wasn't wrong. I thought about the many I've killed in the Commonwealth to save handfuls. My failure and righteousness was so conflicting, my throat felt tight.

"So, should I just make myself comfortable? I am serious." I slid down the metal to the floor eyeing him. He ignored my question.

"You know, the way I came to serve Atom started kind of like this." His hand gestured to the room. "I was on a long distance recon mission and ended up at a disposal facility for a stash of fusion cores, only our engineer hadn't set the locks right. Fifteen inches of lead wrapped steal slammed shut and locked tight." _This is his nightmare then._ I waited for more but he didn't go on, I actually liked hearing about the parts of him that weren't Atom. I decided to press on.

"What kind of soldier were you?" I forgot about the situation at hand as those dark pools of mystery finally found me again.

"I fought in the capital wasteland for a group called the Enclave, they were a force to be reckoned with once, but that was a long time ago." The terminal entry I had read on the Prydwen about the war between the group he mentioned and the Brotherhood came to mind. The Brotherhood definitely had a win, in a way, he was technically an enemy.

"Are you familiar with the Brotherhood of Steel?" He hadn't looked away from me the whole time but his gaze intensified.

Those eyes narrowed. "Brazen thing aren't you? All right, I'm sure you're aware of the history that stands between the two groups? We were definitely lacking in man power but at one time we had devastating technology. Now my question is why do you have a pip-boy?" He kind of avoided an answer to that one but it's like he's completely forgotten I trapped him in here.

"I came from a vault." Genuine surprise crossed his face.

"Many of the experiments- vaults were failures, at least from what stories were told to me." _What does he mean by that?_

"Well, you don't seem to be wrong. I was the only survivor. We were placed into cryo-stasis, I had a life before the bombs fell." My honesty shook me a little. Brian definitely looked astonished. "Enough of that though..." My memories were always painful despite how much time had passed. The tightness in my throat had made my eyes water. Stupid.

"Come here." I tried to wipe my tears but I know he saw them. I ended up next to him though, knees pulled up to my chest. It seemed like he felt bad now, I heard him shifting next to me. Water kept falling out of my eyes, I'm supposed to be the tough one in this situation, keeping a prisoner.

"For someone with intentions like yours, you sure are fragile in a sense. It would also be my duty to punish you if we return to The Nucleus." I forgot he was the enforcer, protector of those children and Atom's will. It would be no problem to brand me a heretic, start a man hunt or keep me there for torture. More tears fell as I thought about how locked myself in this room with him. _Why doesn't he just kill me now?_ He could know how to unlock the door, maybe he's just playing with me. My plan wasn't that solid.

"Look at me." I turned my head to meet his gaze. "You know what happens if I don't complete this mission by choice? That is a form of heresy as well, punishable by death." His gaze darkened, his hand reached towards me, it met an oncoming drop from my eye. "But I don't think..." Whatever his thought was, it was clouded and whatever was becoming of him stopped. I saw him as a man for once, a human with feelings but he pulled his hand back, curses came from under his breath.

"Please don't kill them." Brian was definitely torn, his hesitation to answer gave me hope.

"I can't lie to people so going back would be the end of me, you get it? My life was saved by Atom but it could be taken the same way." What a virtuous soul.

"What if you had a chance to leave them? Never go back?" He ran a rough hand through his hair and closed his eyes. Silence said it all. It was worth a try I guess, I rolled back onto my heels defeated.

A most unexpected question broke the silence. "Would I get to travel with you?" _He would want that?_ If he did, my plan could not fail, Children would hunt us down endlessly.

"First, you can't kill those people." Something in his gaze changed, he looked to me with hope, want. It made sense though, the only way to escape something you're expected to give all of your life to is literally dissapear or that thing ends up not existing anymore. Maybe he wanted this chance for a long time. "The only thing though, all of the people you know inside will probably die."


	5. You Became my Answer

_All of the people you know would probably die._

That would make this the second time I've faced that reality. I watched my team go insane and then fall apart. The gift that Atom offered as the greatest honor was absolutely horrifying. I did not hope for division like the others despite my preaching. I watched her as she offered me freedom, a vague but definite description. _Get away._ The concept echoed in my head, I never realized I felt trapped.

"Before we leave, I need you to understand something, if you plan to betray me, I will not hesitate to kill you." It sounded like a lesson she had learned the hard way. With that, she moved to the terminal to do her magic.

"Are you aware of what the Nucleus is?" The glow from the terminal lit up her eyes.

"An old war bay with a submarine. What about it?" Ironic as it was our home.

"It's still in functioning order. The nukes that are equipped also have a switch. If we return and want this to play smoothly, I will need you to lie."

"I can't do that. I already told you."

"Then you can't go back at all." A curse escaped under her breath. She's definitely taking a risk here and I'm not making it easy. I'm a rock and she's in a hard place. "You might as well be considered dead. Give me some of your armor."

"What why?" She started walking towards me, I heard the door release.

She held her hand out. "Give me the gear, you need to be considered dead." I reached for my shoulder and started undoing the straps, I had to turn as her gaze was intense. I looked down at the familiar rings that decorated my life. The memory of Tektus asking me of such a honor felt like yesterday, time blurred as I punished the traitors, the liars, the non-believers. Now here I am in standing in their place, all for _her._

I found myself in just a shirt and the cargo pants I had, me and myself. A leather bomber landed in my hands, "It's going to be cold, here." It was worn but it will do. The jacket was a bit baggy as I threw it on. Once outside, it was cold and for the for the first time I felt it. She was quite strong shouldering all that gear. "Here, let me carry some..." The gesture she made suggested no. Not a word either, I understand, she's tense and carrying a loose end with her. _Betray me and I will not hesitate..._ The steel in her voice scared me actually despite her soft insides. We rounded Acadia onto the path back, our steps giving me some nostalgia.

"You need somewhere to stash yourself." I was quite embarrassed as she was planning things and I'm just thinking about how she looked on her knees asking me about getting away. I rubbed my face.

"Damn, why you gotta remind me I'm just a man..."

Her steps stopped. "I'm sorry, what?" _Shit._

"Just whatever, I know somewhere to stay." I spotted the turn off that lead to another harbor trying to shut her out.

"Hold on a second, I need to know where to find you." I gestured her to follow, my embarrassment trapped my voice. I knew there was a place over here, an old town I can stay in, better than anything I could think of. The oncoming night and thickening fog was making it really cold, I chose to drop low because it's definitely been awhile. I was not wrong as I heard some arguing in the distance ahead. This time, she didn't try to just spring into action, Ivy waited behind me. The familiar lobster traps on bodies poked through the fog. It always looked ridiculous to me but who am I speak on that. I began readying my aim, she scooted next to me following my lead. I felt a smile as I gestured to one and then the other for her. Ivy made a really good partner as she steadied herself. I counted down on my fingers, the bodies dropped in unison. None came to investigate so I headed for the walls that surrounded the place.

We leaned against an old building past the entrance, we heard more voices. I was so relieved she wasn't being reckless, she leaned against the wall next to me patient for my move. Tugging on my shoulder I turned to glowing orbs under the moon. Her hands gestured we split and take the place on both sides clearing each side at the same time since it was kind split by the bay. I'm surprised we've been able to get in here without a single word. I nodded and watched her round the corner on the left. I crossed to the other side, the trappers were always kind of loud so stealth helped me clear the buildings quickly. I came upon a room with two, I shot one in the head but the other was quick, a bullet made it into my side, I did not miss though. Ah crap, it's been a long time since I've been shot, usually I have that armor, I gritted my teeth.

Stumbling outside gripping my side gave her a horrified look. "I'm fine, just make sure this place is clear." I leaned against a wall and watched her run off again. She better come back. I heard some more shots from her rifle but it faded. I headed for what looked like a diner and found somewhere to sit. I heard her stumbling inside and looked to see she was all wet.

"Don't ask." She sat next to me. "Are you ok?" I don't think the bullet went all the way through which could be a problem.

"I could use a stim pack." She cocked an eyebrow at me. 

"Did the bullet go all the way through?" Of course she would know better. "Let me see" With that she started reaching for my bloodied hand. "Take off the jacket." Wincing, I shook it off, her hand lifting my shirt made my heart speed up. "It's not deep but it's still there..." I didn't really care, she was touching me and it made the pain very dull. She shook a bottle of Med-X at me to imply I might need relief.

"No, I don't need that crap." Ivy shrugged and tucked it away returning with a knife. Damn the lack of better tools. "Hold on..." I started pulling off the shirt and leaned against a table. Those green jewels really seemed to linger on me. I closed my eyes because it was not the distraction I needed. _Maybe it was._

Gripping the table didn't help, she made it quick though, I heard metal hit the ground and then alcohol burning me. "There we go..." It really was a good job for what we had. I looked back to see her holding the stim pack, her face flushed red. "Do you need help to bandage it?" All I could do was nod. I liked watching her work around my torso. These thoughts would never end as long as I'm with her and it made me nervous.

Very pleased she sat up straight smiling but exhaustion was there. "You should get dry."

"Oh, right." Ivy stood up knocking the table, a laugh escaped her. I've never heard anything so nice but she was definitely nervous, distracted. "A lot of these buildings are pretty run down, this place seems to be the best for cover. Can you look away?" _Oh, I see._ I turned away resting on my palm. The sound of her changing made me imagine all sorts of things. The worst part is I've never really known a woman in that way. My service to the Enclave was from childhood and then Atom does not tolerate petty obsessions that don't involve his lord and savior. Maybe that would explain why I watched her from day one. Ivy was something else, not like the sisters that surrounded me. I didn't care for sister Theil's attachment to me, poor girl was wandering the fog when I found her near the spring. I carried her back and her gratitude never faded. Theil became a loyal companion after that, she became my right hand but nothing more. Hearing Ivy sit next to me made me jump out of my thoughts.

Black hair was strewn about as she rested her head on the table. I cleared my throat. "Thank you." Ivy just moaned in acknowledgement, she was dead tired. Then I remembered I hadn't slept for three days. "Here's a mine." She pushed it at me. "Set it at the door." That confirmed she planned on staying here. No complaints from me. I turned back to see her sprawling random junk on the floor near the back and then plop into it. I'll definitely have to learn some things from her, she had a change of clothes, weapons, and she was a survivalist ready for any situation. A chill ran through me so I got the jacket she had given me and went to sit next to her. I felt better if I kept guard so I leaned on the wall but my eyes were heavy indeed.

Green eyes looked up at me. "Don't you need rest?" Yes I did but my world is upside down now. The curious gaze stopped at my chest, the skin underneath seemed to concern her. "Cold?" I saw her shiver so maybe the question was more for herself. Turning on her side she patted the space on her makeshift cot. "Don't be nervous, we can keep warm." Blush stained her cheeks anyway but I can agree, I moved next to her laying on my back. It's been a long time since I slept anywhere but the Nucleus and never next to someone. My heart had to be so loud she could hear it.

"Hehe, you can stop trembling." What? Her amusement made me more nervous. I folded my hands behind my head to stop my arms, she was shifting next to me, I glanced and noticed it was closer to me. The darkness did not hide much. "I-I'm cold so is this ok?" Her body was right under my arm, she curled into me. Nodding I closed my eyes. _Brazen thing indeed._


	6. Another Option

I woke to see the space next to me empty. Damnit, he went to warn the Children of Atom about me! I shot up, the dim light cast long shadows. "Traitor!"

"No, you'd be wrong about that." I looked to see him by the window. Oh, thank goodness.

I got up to start gathering things, I warned him not to turn around as I put on my now dry clothes. "I have to go to the Nucleus soon, you've been missing for a day now. They will probably send out search parties."

"Do they really have to die?"

I sighed. "They'll kill everyone else on the island. Do I have a choice?" I watched him get up to look at me.

"Do they deserve a miserable death like the one I almost offered to the harbor?" He had me there, it made me angry.

I thought about his loyalty test. "How many innocents have you killed, maybe you deserve to die." He was moving towards me making me nervous.

"You're not so innocent either." His bite was pushing me to the edge, I didn't realize how close we'd gotten to each other.

"Damnit, nothing's ever fair, you always got to lose something to get somewhere!" The tears in my eyes threatened to fall. Maybe it would have been easier if I left him in that basement. "I've never had a choice where everyone could live happily or whatever." My back hit a table because for some reason, he wouldn't stop.

Brian laid a hand on the wood behind me, leaning in real close, it took my breath away. Anger stoked those amber flames. "You made me make another choice, why can't you?" My vision was blurry from the water, I sucked in a breath and held it. I had no answer. I had to squeeze my eyes shut. Rough hands met my tears. "Please don't..."

I see why he was chosen to lead the zealots. Another deep breath. "Ok, you're right. What now? You will always be on the run because despite everything, they either worry about you or brand you a heretic." Finally he took a step back. "I'm sorry I almost stole your life, you can go ba-"

He cut me off. "No, I don't want that. They saved my life, Atom..." I watched the same conflict play out on those features. He rushed a hand through his hair. "I need some air."

The only other option I could think of was to tell Maxon about this place, about the synths. That would get him to send men but they would be everywhere. DiMa would surely be destroyed and it might enrage the children even more but sheer strength would force peace, protect the harbor. They could never know about Brian. Maxon would tell me to kill him too. No, I can't have that happen but the Brotherhood is the only _peaceful_ option. Well, different option. Here I am changing my plan again.

I found him brooding by the water. "Thankyou by the way." I nudged him. "I was losing sight of my own ideals."

"What will you do?" I sat next to him, he might not like the answer to his question.

"I never told you but I am a soldier too." He gave me a knowing look. "I'll have to return the Commonwealth at some point."

"So, you're going to let someone else do the bidding." I can't win with this percepetive bastard. Of course he'd figure I'd report back about this place.

"All right, I have nothing then."

He definitely contemplated the idea though. "Well, would they just slaughter everybody?" I shook my head. "Who do you serve?"

"The Brotherhood of Steel. Sentinal Ivy Fox." I wasn't really proud to state my title but it was a formality. A long sigh left him as he made sense of the information.

"Alright, we can give it a shot but I have to accompany you. The people of the harbor need assistance, not a massacre."

"They can't know about your past if you haven't already figured."

Leaning on an arm towards me he came down to a whisper. "It's just me and you if you haven't already figured." I felt heat warm my cheeks. It's been a long time since I've had a serious companion. I pondered his appearance, we will have to go through the harbor to get to the boat.

"Alright, you'll need to change your appearance, the people of the harbor will know you right?" He kind of shrugged.

"Whatever you suggest."

\-----

I looked at him trimmed, it wasn't perfect but he didn't look like himself, his hair was still the same but the stubble gave him a look I preferred, his jaw line really complimented his features. I smiled, "Are you ready?" We stood at the edge of Far Harbor. I could feel some guard waching us. "Lead the way sister."

People were squinting, they definitely seemed concerned or curious. I took his hand to speed this up, no protest as I weaved us through.

A raspy voice made us stop. "Ah, who's this handsome hunk you brought us?" _Handsome?_ I stared at the hag mouth open. Her dry laughter rubbed me the wrong way. "I'm sorry hun." She shot me a wink and went on her way. Jesus Christ. "You don't look like the people here." I looked back and there it was, an actual smile.

Sight of the boat loosened my nerves. I let go of his hand. "Quite the grip you got." I rolled my eyes at him as we crossed the dock, I turned my attention to the knot anchoring the ship. Brian paused in my periphereal, must be nervous. After a few long moments I heard him climb aboard. All right here we go.

"I can take us if you want to relax." Oh of course he would know how to use one of these things, he's on. "Sure, head south and don't lose sight of the shoreline." It felt like a bet to me but sure enough we were on our way and in the right direction. I'll be damned.

After what seemed like forever, I spotted the Nakano residence. "You're going to want to dock there. This isn't my boat." He looked back at me quite confused. "The family that needed help finding their daughter let me use it." The family spotted us right away too. They came running out to greet us.

"Where's my daughter?" Mr. Nakano gave a long cold stare at Brian, Mrs. Nakano trailed him. "Why is this guy with you?"

"Don't worry, your daughter is safe." I knew her father wouldn't take this well. "She's found a home where she feels she belongs."

"You should have brought her back here, that's what." His wife pulled on his shoulder. "It's ok honey, she is young woman, thankyou ma'am. I'm so glad." Defeated, Mr. Nakano turned back to his house. "Please take this." A bag of caps fell into my hand and she left me with a smile.

Brian cocked an eyebrow at me. "What have I gotten myself into?"

"Just come on. We have a long way to go." I had forgotten about them, I had forgotten about Nick too. My shoulders sagged as the weight of who I was here returned. "We should hurry, there's a settlement we can stay at down the coastline." He followed suit as I began to sprint.

After an hour and few enemies, I spotted the light house in the distance, in the foreground there was a sloppy settlement. Crap, Children of Atom are there. "We should go around that one."

"What, why?"

"The Children of Atom in the Commonwealth attack anyone on sight." He seemed very shocked to hear that, disappointed even. No complaints as we pushed on.

Relief washed over me as we approached the lighthouse. "General, you're back!" The settler came running to shake my hand. "Oh thank goodness, I've gotten word there has been trouble. Please go see Preston." Then he stopped and stared at Brian. The puzzled look on his face won't be ending soon. "We need somewhere to stay tonight. Do you have room?" He nodded and let me go. "Anywhere will do general." I watched him go back to his post.

"General?" I threw my face into my hand. "What do you know about maintaining an army?"

"There's alot of things I represent in the Commonwealth. The story is very long. Can we save it for another time?" He crossed his arms but followed me to a make shift I built. Sitting on a real bed was the best. I looked at the bed across from me. "Would you rather have another place?" Shaking his head he laid down, arms still crossed.

"You aren't anything like I thought you were, to be honest, I'm pretty goddamned nervous. Let's just get some rest ok?" With that he turned over and shut me out.


	7. A First

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am still new at this but wanted to get to it. Title is ironic in many ways.

Sentinel Ivy Fox, General Ivy Fox. What other titles could this woman hold? Her name had quite the ring as well. Our travel down the coast has had my mind spinning with questions. All these questions pushed out what was left of what I thought was me. Now it's just her in my head. I rubbed my temple. "Did the Enclave have anything like this?" I looked up to see a metal blimp, to see it flying was a miracle. I have a bad feeling.

It's been long time since I've been near anything that could fly. The vertibird ride alone made me want to hurl and the lack of solid ground beneath me made it worse. Her green jewels paled when she saw the nausea on my face. Her outstretched hand gave me no comfort, being surrounded by men of different rank had my nerves in a knot as well. Inside I saw a glimpse of a figure looking out over the Commonwealth but she headed downstairs instead.

"Captain Kells? I have a situation I need to report." The banter between brothers in arms was just a distant memory, I wanted to tune it out. Instead I looked at how she looked in the orange fatigues she insisted she wear before we got here. It didn't matter to me but now I realize the uniform was a formality, one that really shaped her. A spin on her heel jumped me out of the daze. I noticed the Captain eyeing me warily as we turned up the stairs.

"Your my guest so we can stay here if you want but no more than a day. Kells said he would discuss it with the Elder soon." I followed her up a ladder and she made her way to a room. There was a weird pause before she opened the door. "We will have to wait and see if Maxson will move on it though." Ivy seemed kind of concerned towards me, conflicted with herself. "We don't have to stay on the Prydwen." I looked at a room long abandoned. Random things were littered about and there was only one bed. We were to sleep here?

"Brian?" Finally I looked at her feeling guilty I haven't said anything for hours. "Uh is this where you want to sleep?" She shook her head, blush stained her cheeks and something else. "Here, we should go, they'll send word when the time comes." I was dragged by her back outside, she was careful to shut the door but Ivy definitley wanted to hurry. I heard her suck in a sharp breath when we rounded back down the ladder.

"Ah, exscuse me Elder." A face with a deep scar eyed her intensely. "I'm glad to see you've returned sentinel. I'm dissapointed you didn't check in with me though." I did not like his tone. I watched her shift underneath the icy gaze. "Captain Kells will debrief you. I did not want to waste any of your precious time." Does she have a problem with authority? I've never seen anything like this.

He rushed a hand through jet black hair. "I like to personally know my men, especially those gifted with freedom such as yours. Next time, you report to me." Those blue eyes then glared at me, he was quick to turn away though. I was definitely not happy with the way he spoke to her. Ivy was quick to drag me out of the ship, anger and an emotion I couldn't place fell off in waves. "We did what we came to do. It doesn't matter if they inform me or not." She didn't look at me, I felt those words were more for herself.

I felt strange sitting in the background watching someone else's life. The fire in front of me did not give me the warmth I desired, I looked back at her messing with some junk. Another make shift camp it is. The ruins of the airport howled in the wind. She must have been desperate to want to sleep outside instead of in that tin can. I don't mind these camps though, it pushes her close to me, only me. All that is left is me and her. I couldn't care less what the Brotherhood does, what anybody does. I want to be by her side.

I moved to help her, the wind was not forgiving so I'd appreciate some cover. I liked her craftiness, she had constructed frames to seal line with cloth. There was no good way to build a roof though. "Look at the stars." I frowned, there was nothing really special about them. I sat down next to her. "In my time, we couldn't really see them." The wonder in her eyes amazed me though. "Can we keep warm again?" My answer would never be no. I stretched out next to her, I was invited into the cloth she had made. Ivy stared up at the stars, I stared at her. I don't know how much more I can take just watching.

"Why does the Elder bother you?" Her reaction was clear to me. The way she steeled herself and the iron in her voice. I thought how I had admired the ranks above me in the Enclave. She began clearing her throat. "Arthur made me hunt someone I had deeply cared for. I was not able to save him and I will never forgive Arthur." The use of his name instead of his title said it all. Those blue eyes seemed very heartless indeed. I jumped when she turned to look at me, her hand reached for what was left of my beard. I truly enjoyed it when she helped me trim it up, her soft hands moving around my face.

"Thankyou." The word confused me, what have I done? She read my expression. "My heart has been cold a long time." Ivy didn't need to say anymore. Nervousness pricked at my skin but I moved forward to brush her lips with mine. I hope I am not wrong. The breath that left her was coated in desire. I've never felt another woman's skin like this. My mind shook with fear and excitment. My body responded the same way.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" She cut off my blabbering with a deep kiss. She broke breathless. "Forgive me, I don't know how..." The instensity in her gaze made my babble worse, her body trying to close what little space we had left became overwhelming. I found my hands wandering her waistline, fingers creeping underneath her clothes to feel her soft skin again. All the agony she felt must of trapped her desires, somehow I pushed her to the edge.

"I noticed how you've been watching me, your care was genuine. Nobody has really cared for me in this wasteland except the one I speak of who is gone. He wasn't even human. Thankyou for helping me with my loneliness." She rolled onto an elbow to look down at me. "I want something different now." The way the honesty flowed into me thrashed my world. I remembered when she told me about what having companion could be like, maybe those words were for me. Still, I do not know if I could please her the way she led on. A thigh began to hitch hike between mine.

"Are you sure?" A giggle escaped at my question. "You've really had a strict life." Yes, I've never really allowed time for this kind of pleasure, my belief also put me behind bars but here I am now, my hand still resting on bare skin. "Relax, you think I haven't noticed things when we slept?" My face burned, the few mornings I had to carefully adjust myself. We had camped twice before getting here.

"Yes, a s-strict life. I haven't ever really..." Understanding painted soft features. "Oh, I'm sorry Brian." She looked down and started to move away, I tightened my grip on her waist to anchor her. "No I mean, will you tell me what you like?" The blush drowned an embarrassed grin but she wouldn't answer my question with words. Her lips met mine again, this time more gentle. I felt her roll under my hand so I began to explore her skin, her breathing changed as I brushed her spine, pulling back to her sides. It caused her to kind of grind on the leg she straddled, I lifted it slightly out of curiousity. It only pulled her closer if that was possible, I could feel her heat through the clothing we had.

I found my other hand wandering down, she responded by moving up, I could now loosen her pants, enough to get my hand inside. I wanted to unzip that suit she had but she chose casual clothes instead. "Please be gentle." Wetness greeted me, carefully I began slide gently over her sex. Different sounds and different movements left her telling me different things, the blood rushed to my cock with every moan and whimper. It almost hurt, the distraction caused her to flinch, I broke the pattern that was giving her pleasure. "Ah, I'm sorry." I moved that hand away and switched reaching over her soft ass. I let my fingers tease her entrance instead, Ivy kind of pushed on them. I felt her hands fumbling to free me. Oh please and thankyou.

A sigh escaped her when she finally got me free. _Is something wrong?_ I started to sit up a little self conscious. "You know, many woman would be pleased..." I relaxed as she had answered my question, resting on my elbows I watched her gently stroke. I held my breath trying to muffle the excitement rising in my throat. Her lips started to part, "You don't have to do that." I definitely didn't want her trying something that would make her uncomfortable. Shaking her head, her lips moved again taking it into her mouth. A hiss slipped through my gritted teeth. _My god, seriously a brazen thing indeed._

I couldn't help my hips moving to greet her, I was already on the edge. Gently, I grabbed her hair to stop her. I had fantasized about her for too long to end this quickly. "Please, let me." Guiding her body to lay down next to me, my hands began under her top, bras were a luxury many didn't have, they weren't big but filled my hand. That almost made me come alone. I started to tweak a nipple, her hand met mine to lighten my touch. "Sorry." I moved my free hand down her side, over her hip bone, the callouses must feel good, soft sighs left her. "You're painfully slow." The chuckle that followed embarrassed me more.

"Well I-" A finger met my lips, she sat up and pushed me back on my heels straddling me. We shivered as we became exposed to the night, her nipples poking through her shirt. Now without pants, her lips met my length and she rubbed it teasing me. The wetness made it easy for her settle on the tip, her slow movements made this unbearable. _You're right._ I couldn't take it anymore, grabbing her waist, I pushed my full length into her, her grip on my shoulders tightened. It was uncontrollable now, I kept pushing on the those hips, each push granting me louder moans. Sitting like this made it so easy to bounce her, I pushed down harder, half lidded eyes squeezed tight. I think that's it, I felt her tense but I didn't want to stop, wetness started running down my kneeling legs, I wanted that too. "Ivy I'm..." The moment of ecstasy found me and I filled her with it. The woman moved slightly more to drive me insane. Heaving breaths I leaned into her neck, her black hair melting into the night.

_I'm actually glad I waited so long._


End file.
